Ignorance & Arrogance

This has been on my mind for some time now, but I was unsure exactly how to broach the subject.

It’s no surprise that a Canadian living in America will endure the blunt end of the comment stick. No we don’t live in igloos, pour maple syrup on everything, say “eh” all the time and ride snowmobiles to school. I thought this was common knowledge.

I’ve been here almost 2 years now and these jokes are old, overdone, and quite frankly, they’re rude and ignorant. I get upset now when people tell me “oh it must be different in Canada” or “that must be a Canadian thing.” Just because I’m from another country doesn’t mean that everything I say, think, or do is Canadian.

I think the biggest issue I have with this is that I’ve told people time and time again that I don’t find their repeated jabs at me funny in the least, and yet they can’t respect my wishes enough to stop.

Get educated or keep your damn mouth shut. Enough is enough.

This Canadian chick will show you what she’s made of if you can’t shut your trap! And I promise you that I’m not made of girl guide cookies and sparkles.

/endranthere.

Love & Light,

Jessica

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Sorry we don’t accept those coupons. 

It’s come to my attention lately that there are fewer and fewer genuinely nice people in this world. This really upsets me because I pride myself on doing nice things for people whether I believe they deserve it or not, we all deserve to be treated like people. 

Recently I had an acquaintance come to me in disbelief that no one would pick her up when she requested this from 6 different friends. She was upset because she’s done some “nice things” for these individuals and thought they needed to return the favor, right then and there at her beck and call. 

I was in such shock at this I was literally speechless. I don’t buy a friend a drink so I can cash in on it later, I do it to be nice. I don’t expect anything in return. I don’t do things that I don’t want to do, so if I do something nice it’s because I genuinely want to, isn’t that was being nice is? 

This acquaintance and I were once good friends but as you can imagine, I’ve run out of coupons ha! 

It’s crazy how people can be so close to you and yet so far away. Maybe we were meant to meet so I could teach her something, and learn something myself. 

Lesson of the day: You don’t do nice things for people and then try to redeem the gesture at a time of your choosing. 

My ‘Lanta, some people’s children. 

Love&Light

Jessica 

JT dreams too. 

Alright, first things first, I am not referring to Justin Timberlake. This post is about a man who is inspirational through his music and the stories he shares through lyrics. He’s been in the spotlight for years and I can personally say that he is humble, kind, and very friendly.

My father worked for a music company when I was young, I was very fortunate to meet some amazing artists although truthfully I was too young to appreciate the wonderful gift that was bestowed upon me at the time.

Photographs of artists like Shania and Jan Arden posed next to my father are a mere part of the decor in my parents home.

I’ve always had a love for music and I would said it goes as far as being a passion. I learned to play the guitar, I love to sing, I taught myself how to mix music, and there is more than one occasion that I’ve gotten lost in lyrics and seen multiple days go by without notice.

Last night I had the priveledge of seeing one of my all time idols with my father. This man is someone who I grew up listening to and is one of my fathers favorite artists, and mine as well. This man not only sang last night, he told jokes, stories, and I was lucky enough to meet him, exchange stories and even take some selfies.

Who is this man, I’m sure you’re curious. His name is James Taylor and in 1968 when he sang “something in the way she moves” for Paul McCartney and George Harrison he had a dream about being signed by a label. The Beatles record label “Apple Records” signed him and gave him the shot to be the astounding musician he is today.

Prior to being signed, James had a band called “Original Flying Machine” which seemingly crashed and burned before his opportunity at stardom. His parents had grown tired of him lounging around the house all day so he set off and at that time whilst dealing with the pains of missing home he wrote and recorded my all time favorite song “Carolina.”

This just goes to show, no matter how small you feel in this world with a plethora of people and their dreams, yours may come true to. You just have to work for it.

Thank you James Taylor for a wonderful show last with your All Star Band. You left the crowd with memories of a fantastic evening and many laughs. One of my dreams was to meet you, last night we crossed that off the bucket list. Enjoy your Caesar, glad I got to teach you about my favorite beverage.

Love&Light,

Jessica

BE THAT WOMAN – Guest Post 

Throughout my travels I always seem to attract people who have a story to share, unbeknownst to me while surfing through Instagram I came across a profile I just couldn’t ignore. 

I never could have dreamt up the story that I’m about to share from a wonderfully inspiring and influential woman. Sade Travers is the author of this next piece and she is nothing less that truly amazing. I’m very proud to say that she more than willingly wrote a piece to contribute to The Basic Bish and it is my pleasure to share this with you. 

Thank you Sade, your words are so motivating and captivating. My greatest gratitude goes to you for sharing your story.

Guest post by Sade Travers of “Be That Woman”

“When I was younger I knew I wanted to help people, I wanted to be the person that I needed when I was younger and trying to figure my life out. I had huge dreams and ambitions and I didn’t know how to get to where I wanted to be.

As a fitness trainer I spent a lot of my time talking to women and listening to the things they say about their dreams and about their desires. Also about their aspirations for having the perfect life, the perfect body, and the happiest life. I found I was offering a lot of advice which my clients and friends found very useful- from there it all kind of just evolved.

I had the talent for sharing my advice that women could relate to, because I just “got it”, I understood on a deep level what they were trying to say, and what they needed to here. I am very intuitive in nature so I think that plays in my favour.

I spent years working on myself after that, discovering who I wanted to be and what I was going to do with this desire of helping women. I have read hundreds of books, invested money on self-development programs and grown as a person through my own life experiences.

Last year when I was 26 I was diagnosed with Hodgkins Lymphoma, which is a cancer of the lymphatic system. It took me and my entire world by surprise- as you can imagine! Funnily enough it threw me deeper into the depths of self-discovery through the process, which enabled me to see how strong and powerful I really was. I used the power of positive thinking as well as allowing as much love into my life to help me get through what was the toughest time of my life.

I created a blog (www.sade-travers.squarespace.com) to provide support and love to those around the world who were going through the same thing and give them a literal shoulder to lean on. From here my love of writing was formed and I had email after email of people telling me they were moved by what I wrote and even though some of them did not have cancer they found something compelling in my writing- this motivated me even more to share my message.

I came up with Be That Woman near the end of my cancer journey- something that I knew I needed in my life to give me purpose. It was a dream I had, which I actioned on and turned it into a reality!

The message of Be That Woman is all about empowering women to live life boldly and to love boldly- both themselves and others. It’s all about banishing the self-doubt and just going for it!

Creating Be That Woman has given me a chance to express the real me, to share the vulnerable sides of me to allow me to show up in the world more authentically. To have had to trust my decisions and to push myself further into love and life than I ever thought possible. I do not want to die with my message still inside me- that I know to be true.

I have faced challenges while on this journey, most of which have been created by myself. My self-doubt and the lack of faith I have in myself has sometimes left me feeling very vulnerable about sharing the deepest parts of me. But, I always need to remind myself that there is someone out there who NEEDS to hear what I have to say- and that is why I keep going.

I want to be the example that anyone can change the world, that anyone can make a HUGE difference in so many people’s lives- just by being you.”

Love&Light,

Jessica 

Kindness & Karma 

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. This statement speaks volumes to how I hold such high regard to my actions toward others, as it may seem very basic it’s also very true. 

I do believe karma is very real because I have seen it with my own eyes, both in positive and negative aspects. I believe that being able to assess all situations and people promptly in addition to making the conscious choice to handle them accordingly is an indubitable trait that not everyone has acquired or has the ability to. 

I say this because what you give truly is what you get. It may not be apparent at that exact moment or even apply to that specific situation, however it always comes back to you in one way or another. I firmly stand by my opinion on this matter because it not affects myself as an individual but also the others around me. The simple gesture of asking how someone’s day is going can be life altering to someone and you’d never know. Just as no one will ever be able to comprehend your situation or the internal struggle you may be battling, you won’t be able to understand anyone else’s. Some of us are very good at suppressing our thoughts and feelings, myself included. 

Behind every sweet smile there is a bitter sadness that no one can ever see or feel. 

I have to acknowledge these small gestures I have made over the years, although many times when they’re not reciprocated I will admit I have thought twice about continuing to behave in this manner. It can be disheartening to treat others with kindness only for them to treat you with disrespect or insignificance. I’ll never be able to come to a conclusion as to why some individuals feel as though they are better than others, as though we are all merely servants in their fairytale world of existence. That one is surely beyond me and to be frank, I really couldn’t be bothered to find out. 

My life has had its ups and downs, sometimes I wonder how I manage to deal with some of the crazy things that come my way, however through all the bullshit always comes a positive outcome. At times I’m curious as to what lesson I’m supposed to be grasping or why it was necessary to be given such hardships to learn from, but in the end it all comes together. 

Gratitude must be given for my ability to mask my internal challenges and persevere through life’s daily trials and tribulations. I feel very lucky to have the ability to push my personal issues aside and tackle the day in a positive manner, for that has brought me great lengths in my career thus far. Without that trait I can honestly say I don’t know where I would be but it wouldn’t be ideal whatsoever. 

It’s interesting how someone’s personality and presence alone can attract others and create opportunities. I recently encountered a situation like this, few words were spoken but the outcome was extraordinary. Who would have thought that my mere presence and a small exchange of chit chat could lead to the opportunity of a lifetime. That is exactly what happened. Thank you karma. 

Love&Light,

Jessica 

If you’re a bird…

I believe you can meet someone and just know they’re meant to be in your life. It’s an overwhelming feeling if you’ve never felt it but at the same time it’s remarkable. You just know that person has a place in your story. The kind of person that you love entirely before you even know them. You like all the wonderful qualities they possess, the things they don’t like about themself, the little things that should irritate you but they don’t, their cute idiocincracies make you smile and you can get lost in their words during a conversation. This is the kind of person you would do anything for without thinking twice. When you find a person like this you won’t let them go, no matter how difficult things may get. 

Distance can’t even keep me from you, time cannot keep me from you, any obstacle put in my path will be shattered, just to get to you. I could see you once every few months and still be the happiest girl on earth. Just having you in my life means the world to me and I don’t ever want that to change. You’re the only thing keeping me here and you don’t even know it. You wouldn’t be able to change my mind even if you did. I feel as though a person like this only comes around once in a lifetime and I just can’t help but wait it out to see the outcome. 
I’ve never met someone that has made such an impact on my life as you have.  I’ll never be the same, I can assure you of that. There is not a day that goes by that I don’t think of you, wonder how you are, miss you, or need you in my life. You’re that person for me. The person I can’t make life decisions without, the one I can’t seem to let go, the one I always picture in my life. 

I don’t know how to tell you this. I don’t even think there’s a combination of words that could be put together that could even begin to describe the feelings I have for you. 

I don’t know what it is about you, there’s not one specific thing that stands out, it’s just you. 

Thank you. Thank you for everything you do, you put up with more than you should, you keep me grounded, you’re happy for me when I’m happy, you let me cry when I need to and you help me realize why tears aren’t necessary when I overreact, you’re there for me unconditionally, you’re my family and there is no one that could ever take your place. 

Love&Light,

Jessica 

Jay R Fit Guest Post 

I stumbled across a profile on Instagram that just overwhelmed me with inspiration. The owner of this profile is Jay R McDonald and he is nothing short of motivational. His posts show his journey through fitness and his determination to help others achieve their goals. Although I am no gym junkie and should surely get my buns in there more often, he inspires me to push harder to attain my own dreams. 

That being said, thank you Jay for your contribution to The Basic Bish. I am ever so grateful you took the time out of your busy schedule to write this marvellous piece together. 

Jay R McDonald for The Basic Bish: 

“My goal is to inspire and influence people like you do. You’re such an amazing icon and inspiration to many people.”

Whoa… “Positivity shots” fired! Officer down!
Waking up to that message hit me right in the feel goods.

When Jessica asked me to contribute to this amazing blog, I was humbled and honoured. I don’t consider myself much of a writer BUT since you asked so elegantly, I will see what I can ramble out…
You are probably scrolling on your cell phone or reading this in line at Starbucks, so I am going to try to keep this short and sweet enough that you can make it to the bottom by the time the caramel kisses the foam on the top of your macchiato. 
The first thing that comes to mind when thinking of motivation is, “Thoughts become things”… This is what I want to address today.
So often I hear things (aka bullshit) like:
“I am so fat”

“I want to be pretty with a beautiful body like so and so, but I’m too chunky”

“I have tried everything but I am still so chubby”

“I am so scrawny, I want to be buff like you”

“Look at her body! Why am I such a fat mess?”

These are real statements and real questions from real people.. Now that I got the ball rolling you’re probably thinking “yeah you’re right, I am this or that”
STOP.
S-T-O-P that thinking RIGHT NOW. If you heard someone calling a stranger those things you would interject and say something wouldn’t you? So WHY do you sit there a shit talk yourself?!
YOU are NOT FAT

YOU are NOT UGLY

YOUR LEGS ARE NOT TOO BIG (side note ladies.. us guys love some strong powerful legs. Embrace those bad boys poppin in your LuLu’s)

You ARE Stacy with the contagious laugh and BEAUTIFUL smile
You ARE Chris with the strikingly handsome features and heart of gold

You ARE YOU and that is why we love YOU.

You are admired from afar and loved up close for the person you are, not the size of your waist or biceps.
That being said, It is perfectly okay to want to become the best version of yourself, but YOUR THINKING MUST CHANGE.

“The me I see is the me I will be”… I want you to adopt this way of thinking TODAY.
Close your eyes and picture your perfect you. See it, touch it, smell it, feel it, embrace it, and love it. Our subconscious mind works in miraculous ways and being able to envision, see, and believe yourself at your best will bring you straight there.
Think like a torpedo. Torpedo’s don’t achieve hitting their target by being shot out of a submarine and swimming straight to it. The target is acquired, torpedo released, then 4,565 mistakes (don’t quote me on that number) and course corrections until it hits the goal. 
Veer to the right? Course correct. Sway to the left? Course correct… You get the idea. Eventually you will fail FORWARD so many times that the target is inevitably hit!

Change your thinking, change your life.
Stay motivated, dedicated, and keep on smiling you beautiful creature you.

From “Fat boy” to “Manorexic”, I have been there and done that. My name is Jay R McDonald and I am the man on a mission to help others find comfort in their own skin. 

Thinking out loud. 

Surroundings. The circumstances of life transform around us, although not always in a favorable manner conducive to our desired lifestyle. 

No day is identical to another, in some way they each hold significant details that give us foresight into what lies ahead. 

Whether we choose to acknowledge those details, is up to us. 

Love&Light,

Jessica