Ignorance & Arrogance

This has been on my mind for some time now, but I was unsure exactly how to broach the subject.

It’s no surprise that a Canadian living in America will endure the blunt end of the comment stick. No we don’t live in igloos, pour maple syrup on everything, say “eh” all the time and ride snowmobiles to school. I thought this was common knowledge.

I’ve been here almost 2 years now and these jokes are old, overdone, and quite frankly, they’re rude and ignorant. I get upset now when people tell me “oh it must be different in Canada” or “that must be a Canadian thing.” Just because I’m from another country doesn’t mean that everything I say, think, or do is Canadian.

I think the biggest issue I have with this is that I’ve told people time and time again that I don’t find their repeated jabs at me funny in the least, and yet they can’t respect my wishes enough to stop.

Get educated or keep your damn mouth shut. Enough is enough.

This Canadian chick will show you what she’s made of if you can’t shut your trap! And I promise you that I’m not made of girl guide cookies and sparkles.

/endranthere.

Love & Light,

Jessica

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Sorry we don’t accept those coupons. 

It’s come to my attention lately that there are fewer and fewer genuinely nice people in this world. This really upsets me because I pride myself on doing nice things for people whether I believe they deserve it or not, we all deserve to be treated like people. 

Recently I had an acquaintance come to me in disbelief that no one would pick her up when she requested this from 6 different friends. She was upset because she’s done some “nice things” for these individuals and thought they needed to return the favor, right then and there at her beck and call. 

I was in such shock at this I was literally speechless. I don’t buy a friend a drink so I can cash in on it later, I do it to be nice. I don’t expect anything in return. I don’t do things that I don’t want to do, so if I do something nice it’s because I genuinely want to, isn’t that was being nice is? 

This acquaintance and I were once good friends but as you can imagine, I’ve run out of coupons ha! 

It’s crazy how people can be so close to you and yet so far away. Maybe we were meant to meet so I could teach her something, and learn something myself. 

Lesson of the day: You don’t do nice things for people and then try to redeem the gesture at a time of your choosing. 

My ‘Lanta, some people’s children. 

Love&Light

Jessica 

All my love. 

In life we get the pleasure of knowing people but we also have to deal with losing them. 

This week the world lost an amazing man.

Uncle Lorne, you were my other dad, you raised me just as much as my parents did and I am so grateful to have had you in my life. You taught me about cars, men, and martinis and you’ll forever be a major part of my story. 

I guess I always thought you’d just be there, I never realized one day you really wouldn’t be. 

It’s times like these where family is so important, it makes it hard to be in another country away from all my relatives and even harder to be alone. 

I love you to the moon and back Uncle Lorne, you’ll forever be in my heart. 

Love always, “Tiger” 

Self Actualization & Ketosis

My apologies for the length of time since my last post, it’s been a whirlwind of packing, moving, unpacking, no wifi, super bowl, etc. Still no excuse for my laziness.

I went through a lengthy period of time last year where I was severely depressed, quite honestly I’m still fighting the depression but it’s gotten a lot better.

If you’ve followed my blog for awhile you know I’m Canadian but living in the United States with my husband. I’ve met some amazing people here and I’ve met others whom I wish I hadn’t. I feel like everyone has an addiction, although it’s personally chosen I believe it exists. Here it’s generally alcohol, I got to a point where I was drinking a lot more than I ever would and I was definitely disappointed to say the least. Other people are addicted to their “cliques” instagramming their life in less than appropriate clothing while they work a job very close to prostitution, snap chatting their every waking moment, or facebooking every “night out” with the crew.

There are others here who are just addicted to the gym and making the most of themselves and potentially trying to reach self actualization. This is where I need to be, but this is what I’ve been missing.

In order to get in touch with myself and who I truly want to be so I can eventually achieve self actualization I need to step back and just “do me” for awhile.

I’ve researched ketosis, the benefits, the disadvantages, etc and I have decided to commit myself to it. So here I go!

Love&Light, in the Red, White, and Blue!

Jessica

It’s not a want, it’s a Neid. 

A friend of my from back home in Canada has always really inspired me. I recently got in touch with her to ask her about her clothing line. 

Erikka from neidstudio.com and I have known each other for years and somehow we have always managed to keep in touch but I’ve never truly gotten the opportunity to ask her a whole lot about what inspires her. So I did! 

What designers are you most inspired by? 

Coco Chanel, Karl Lagerfeld, Gianni Versace, and Donatella Versace. Also, I’m inspired daily by the independent designers; those of us that choose fabric over food and can still jump out of bed every morning because their passion is enough to sustain them!

What would be your dream award to win? 

Academy Award for Best Costume Design! An Oscar belongs on my mantle 💕 

If you had to design something specifically for me what would it be? 

Some serious Canadian Couture to show your new neighbours how fabulous you and your Canadian roots are.

Would you ever sell your brand? 
I couldn’t; I am my brand. . It would be awkward to say the least because I design what I feel . I think that’s priceless. 

What would you be opposed to designing? 
I will try anything once. Twice if I like it just to be sure 😉 

What celebrity would you enjoy designing something for?
I once created a dress with Rhianna in mind when I was in design school. It was a flapper style adorned with hardware store nails! Now- Met Gala – Beyoncé, and we’d win best dress of the night , I guarantee it! 

I have always been a fan and supporter of Erikka and Neid and since meeting her I’ve gotten the opportunity to see many of her creations as well as her brand grow amazingly. 

Neidstudio.com is where you can purchase her amazing designs and you can also find her on instagram @neidstudio 

Just a small town girl. 

Living in a lonely world? Absolutely, you can call it Cheyenne Wyoming. 

If you’re not Air Force, you barely belong here. You can be the best bartender with people asking for you night after night, or you can be the Canadian girl sitting here time after time. 

It’s all the same. You’re here or you’re not. You can be basic, or you can live anywhere but here. If you live here you’re basic, and that’s it. 

I can work for minimum wage all day everyday if I want to, or I can decide my life means more than that. Here, not so much. It’s few and far between you meet anyone who is willing to take life for what it is. 

This place is hell on earth, but cold. The wind blows more often than the prostitutes in New York City. The people here deserve their own blog post. I’ll get into that on the next one. Friend or foe, you’ll surely know. 

Spellcheck is a privilege Canada, apparently they don’t have that in the small town of Cheyenne. Businesses literally print posters and banners to publicize their events but seem to misspell “during” by adding an extra”r.” The best part is how a radio station can misspell broadcast….. seriously? There has always been an “a” in the word, AND you’re a RADIO station. 


I may be from a big city but I am far from a metropolitan princess. The fact that people here find it acceptable to call me a “hozer” due to the fact that I’m Canadian is repulsive. Isn’t it the “true north strong and free?” I’m still from North America, although Canada is looking better and better everyday. 

It’s hard enough to live in a new country but to have “friends” that neglect to make plans with you or leave the bar without even telling you is total bullshit. 

Friends are hard to find and harder to keep, I’m still trying to figure out if it’s even worth making friends in a place like this. 

Missing home more than ever. 

Love&Light,

Jessica 

50 Shades of Cray. 

Recently I’ve been a little down. It’s hard to be so far away from my friends and family all the time and it’s even harder when I can’t work here for another month or two. 

I’ve met some new friends here, some of which are good company for a beer or two, while others are good company when you’re bored on a Tuesday evening. 

New friends mean a lot of new things. You have to get to know one another, try out things the other person likes to do, see what each other is like when you’re drunk AND when you’re sober. 

I’ve come to realize that some people are meant to be in your life and others simply just do not have a place. It’s not always apparent from the beginning, sometimes it takes awhile to see someone’s true colors but eventually they always show. 

One of the worst things I think a friend can do is speak before they listen. I can only forgive so many times for the same actions. 

People always have a lot to say. The biggest communication problem is that we do not listen to understand, we listen to reply. 

Take time to assess a situation before you react, it’s always worth it. 

Love&Light,

Jessica

Shameynne aka Cheyenne. 

In my travels I’ve seen many places and many different ways of life but nothing quite like my new city of residence. Cheyenne, Wyoming. 

There’s a few things you ought to know before making the choice to move here. 

1. Nothing much happens before noon, which we also call lunch/beer break.

2. If you need to get ahold of someone make sure to call, email will be lost in the cloud forever and ever. 

3. There are requirements to living here; a beer mug (never empty) holsters for your gun and shot glass, and the number for the cowboy shuttle on speed dial. 

4. Fireball. Enough said. 

5.  Knowledge of the “one legged stripper” at the Green Door (which is a bar/strip club) 

6. Uber. It doesn’t exist here and if you mention it they’ll think you’re a hipster talking some foreign lingo. 

7. We refer to Colorado people as  “greenies” they are known for being the loudest when using our park/lakes. 

8. A snow day = a snow drift as high as your front door. 

9. “Regulars” at the bar are not your friend unless you’re paying their tab. They’re anything but “regular”

10. Uniqueness has a whole new meaning, it means you’re fucking weird. 

11. You’ll be lucky to meet a man with all his teeth.

12. Wyoming is a “right to work” state which means you can and will be fired for just being you. Although drunkness seems to be a daily occurrence you may not show up to work intoxicated. 

13. They do not have pizza pops nor do they know what they are (sorry Canada) 

14. If you’re a biker, it better be a Harley. If you ride a bicycle, watch out we don’t all know how to drive. 

15. Pedestrians. Watch out, they don’t know what a walking man sign means and you have no right of way. They will stop for a Pokemon though, even though they are few and far between. 

16. If you’re 18, no kids, and not pregnant… You’re not from here. “I just went camping” is not an excuse for pregnancy. 

17. If you’re reading this blog, you’re not from here… “Blog” is probably a name for a shot that you’ve never tried and never should. 

18. At McDonald’s they will not understand “make it like a Mac.” Which is putting Mac sauce, lettuce and all the fixings of a Big Mac but without the other bun. Don’t try it here, it’ll have ketchup and Mac sauce..nasty. 

19. Frontier days…. Needs its own blog post but it’s similar to the Calgary stampede only 100x smaller, although they will never admit to that. It’s “the biggest outdoor rodeo on earth” if you live here and you better stick to that.

20. Downtown. It has more parking garages than places to go. Open a restaurant down there and you’ll be lucky to last 6 months. Sorry Hooters. Open a skateboard park and you’ll be busy for life, but it’s illegal to ride a skateboard downtown. 

21. Photographers, ensure to take a deposit because your clients will definitely change dates, fail to show up to their session, or not end up paying you at all. Trying to get paid for your services is like waiting outside a bestbuy for the newest Xbox console. 

To be continued…

Love&Light,

Jessica 

BE THAT WOMAN – Guest Post 

Throughout my travels I always seem to attract people who have a story to share, unbeknownst to me while surfing through Instagram I came across a profile I just couldn’t ignore. 

I never could have dreamt up the story that I’m about to share from a wonderfully inspiring and influential woman. Sade Travers is the author of this next piece and she is nothing less that truly amazing. I’m very proud to say that she more than willingly wrote a piece to contribute to The Basic Bish and it is my pleasure to share this with you. 

Thank you Sade, your words are so motivating and captivating. My greatest gratitude goes to you for sharing your story.

Guest post by Sade Travers of “Be That Woman”

“When I was younger I knew I wanted to help people, I wanted to be the person that I needed when I was younger and trying to figure my life out. I had huge dreams and ambitions and I didn’t know how to get to where I wanted to be.

As a fitness trainer I spent a lot of my time talking to women and listening to the things they say about their dreams and about their desires. Also about their aspirations for having the perfect life, the perfect body, and the happiest life. I found I was offering a lot of advice which my clients and friends found very useful- from there it all kind of just evolved.

I had the talent for sharing my advice that women could relate to, because I just “got it”, I understood on a deep level what they were trying to say, and what they needed to here. I am very intuitive in nature so I think that plays in my favour.

I spent years working on myself after that, discovering who I wanted to be and what I was going to do with this desire of helping women. I have read hundreds of books, invested money on self-development programs and grown as a person through my own life experiences.

Last year when I was 26 I was diagnosed with Hodgkins Lymphoma, which is a cancer of the lymphatic system. It took me and my entire world by surprise- as you can imagine! Funnily enough it threw me deeper into the depths of self-discovery through the process, which enabled me to see how strong and powerful I really was. I used the power of positive thinking as well as allowing as much love into my life to help me get through what was the toughest time of my life.

I created a blog (www.sade-travers.squarespace.com) to provide support and love to those around the world who were going through the same thing and give them a literal shoulder to lean on. From here my love of writing was formed and I had email after email of people telling me they were moved by what I wrote and even though some of them did not have cancer they found something compelling in my writing- this motivated me even more to share my message.

I came up with Be That Woman near the end of my cancer journey- something that I knew I needed in my life to give me purpose. It was a dream I had, which I actioned on and turned it into a reality!

The message of Be That Woman is all about empowering women to live life boldly and to love boldly- both themselves and others. It’s all about banishing the self-doubt and just going for it!

Creating Be That Woman has given me a chance to express the real me, to share the vulnerable sides of me to allow me to show up in the world more authentically. To have had to trust my decisions and to push myself further into love and life than I ever thought possible. I do not want to die with my message still inside me- that I know to be true.

I have faced challenges while on this journey, most of which have been created by myself. My self-doubt and the lack of faith I have in myself has sometimes left me feeling very vulnerable about sharing the deepest parts of me. But, I always need to remind myself that there is someone out there who NEEDS to hear what I have to say- and that is why I keep going.

I want to be the example that anyone can change the world, that anyone can make a HUGE difference in so many people’s lives- just by being you.”

Love&Light,

Jessica 

Hear me roar. 

I am a girl, yes. I can be girlie, yes. I love football, beer, fixing cars, motocross, and I golf almost every weekend. Should this make me any less of a woman? No. 

My friends are dudes, girls don’t generally like me. I am a carpenter currently by trade, I like to fix things. I like to have an understanding of how things work. I don’t get my nails done, I don’t have fake hair or fake boobs, I’m just a girl. A girl who loves to travel, meet people, hear their stories, spread positive vibes and be “out there.” Don’t call me on Super Bowl Sunday because it’s the Super Bowl, clearly I’m busy. 

I don’t go to church, and I don’t always listen to my parents. Quite frankly, they think I’m crazy. I’ve never been one to “go with the status quo.” I am who I am and nothing will change that. 

I feel bad for women who live their lives with a side of caution, scared of being who they truly are because they’re afraid they won’t be liked. Yes I have my challenges when I have to explain to a boyfriend that my friends are 99% male but it’s a challenge I accept. This is my life and those who are not willing to be understanding of it, have no place in it. 

A long time ago I decided to stop being a people pleaser and start living my life the way I see it fit. This brings me great joy and I love every moment of it. 

Just remember. A wise man once said “those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter, don’t mind.” 

Words to live by. Be who you are and say what you feel. Life is a journey, not a destination. We should ALL grasp this concept because in the end, we all have the same destination, you’ll never make it out alive. We’re all living, but are we? 
Love&Light, 

Jessica